Blacking out the friction..

2005-09-21T14:25:00.000+08:00

I never knew i could feel this way before..

2005-08-15T17:20:00.000+08:00

I'm considering going on hiatus for awhile.. There's no point blogging now.. I'm just living on a daily routine. Everyone is.. So yea.. Till next time..

In the meantime, lets try not to get ourselves killed by the As...

2005-07-27T23:16:00.000+08:00

Ok today's a good day.. No lessons! Sch's having this learning fest thing.. It's 2 days set aside for us to learn whatever under the sun that we feel like learning..

1st course i went for was something on forensic science.. I think forensic science is quite interesting.. For today's course, they had this murder scene set up for us and we were to obtain evidence and clues to solve the case.. Haha.. My group had a rather interesting conclusion.. And the teacher said i'm morbid just because of that.. Oh well..

Next course.. Sailing! It was DAMN FUN! I've been gushing non-stop about it to anyone who talked to me online just now.. Jia Yi, although she was sick, still kindly offered to take me out.. So nice of her..

Haha.. I must say.. She's funny.. She kept complaining about how heavy i am cuz i was sitting on the bow(the very tip of the boat) and it kept dipping into the water.. At first, the dipping was quite scary cuz half the time i was in high risk of falling into the sea and i was gripping the sides of the sailboat for dear life..) but soon i got used to it and really enjoyed myself..

The boat almost capsized a few times.. The funniest time was when jia yi tried to turn the sail to the other side so i had to duck to not get hit by the boom.

Jy: "duck duck!!"
Me" "ok ok i'm down!"
Jy: "ok stay low!"
Me: "YAH"
Jy: "wait wait.. okok"..

And on hearing the "okok", i raised my head.. In the end, jy had to yank the boom away frm me to prevent it from crashing into me and due to the sudden motion of the sail, the boat tilted like crazy and nearly capsized.. And i was dangling at the side of the boat, with only my feet hooked on to something in the boat. Damn exciting! If only we capsized.. It would have been more fun if we did..

I controlled the boat for awhile too! Quite easy once u get the hang of it..

Jy: "ok now u try it"
Me: "ok!"
Jy:"Just no drastic movements and we'll be fine"

Immediately after she said that, the boat nearly capsized cuz i moved the tiller (i think it's called tiller.. but anyway it's something tt controls the rudder) too much..

Jy: "i said no drastic movements!"

Haha.. damn funny..

Oh the way from the sailing centre to the bus stop is like a million miles away.. Thank god we managed to hitch a ride.. Haha.. First time i succeed in hitching a ride..

Went to Kenny Rogers for dinner.. The cheese macoroni!! The long beans! The potato salad!

Had to walk from suntec to city hall mrt by myself after that cuz the rest wanted to shop and i was too tired to tag along.. Besides i cant stay out so late anyway.. I think they should install a tram in city link mall.. It's so long!!! And i was like already so tired.. And alone!

I've a feeling today'll be my first n last time sailing.. But i dont want it to be the last! Sailing is really very fun.. I'm sorry if all of you cant understand my enthusiasm.. It's a shame really.. A pity i cant swim very well n my parents refuse to let me learn sailing..

Besides.. They're afraid of tsunami..

2005-07-25T00:29:00.000+08:00

Ahh shit.. As usual i dozed off half way while doing work.. Now i have a whole lot of shit due today that's still undone.. I've just given up trying to complete everything before i go to sch..

Apart from a whole mountain of work on my table, there's also this red thing on my table now that needs to be mentioned - My rapture ticket, both halves of it. And yes, i went for rapture last night.

Si si and i reached there 1 hour earlier after a crazy cab ride from kallang mrt to the theatre. I swear it's a miracle the cab didnt crash.. The driver's mad.. He kept cursing at some car in front of him.. When he finally overtook that car, he speeded and swirved and speeded somemore.. Si and i were holding on to the door handles for dear life.. And all this while, the driver was happily whistling to some tuneless song..

45 mins before the doors to the theatre open, i suddenly realised something horrible - i forgot to bring my rapture ticket. So smart of me wasnt it.. Si si was like "huh then how?! why u so careless one!!".. For once, i've done something sillier than joyce..

So for awhile, we figured out what to do. I couldnt possibly get someone from the house to bring the ticket down to me cuz by then rapture would have started. And i was definitely not skipping rapture just bcuz of my carelessness.. In the end, when we were making our way into the theatre, i simply blended into the crowd and got in.. I've sharon, sze hui and si si to thank for that.. Oh but before i got in, there was this old guy at the door i had to face first.. He must have somehow seen me without a ticket and he questioned me abt it..

"Did you tear your ticket?"

"Yea.. Tear already" And with that i hurried in before he can ask me anything else..

All my sneaking efforts didnt go to waste.. Rapture was fantastic. Had fun people watching with everyone..

"ooh lee wei song is here!"
"where where where?!"
"there!!"
"where? oooooh!"

"wah.. where got ppl wear t-shirt and skirt like that one"

"hey superstar kelly is here!!"
"where?!"
"dont know la!"

"oh no fat pig is here!"
"where??"
"so big you cannot see arh"
"where? oh! omg!"

Oh man that pig.. I think he was the worst-dressed. He probably thinks he need to protect the entire theatre from a terrorist bombing.. He was dressed in this brownish long sleeved shirt that made him look like he's in the military (since when does he not look like he's in the military..) and he was carrying a very ugly bag.. We all sunk deeper into our seats when we saw him.. The last thing we need is for fashion disaster to see us and come over to talk to us..

The dance items were good.. Can see why the dance society got gold with honours.. My favourites - the opening act which had a mix of hip-hop and pop, the breakdance item and another item whiched ended with a girl doing an ear-piercing scream (freaky but nice)..

The breakdancers were really good. There's this guy who could do the spinning on head thing for very very long, another guy that jumped off the stage to do this 360 degrees jump-spin thing at the corner of the room (i swear for a split second, tt guy was standing perpendicular to the wall on his left), and another guy imitated britney's toxic by wiggling his butt.. It was hilarious!

Yea rapture was really hot.. I was quite high after the thing for awhile.. I could have gone clubbing or something if i didnt tell my parents what time i would reach home..

The night ended with my long walk with si from the theatre to the main road to get a cab cuz she refused to take the bus.. N i really mean LONG WALK. Thankfully we had si si's packet of green peas for company on our journey..

Ok enough about rapture night.. I need sleep now.. Sch for me wont be plesant later, since all my work's not done.. Last thing i need is to worsen my day with lack of sleep..

2005-07-11T17:20:00.000+08:00

My math paper!! 20.5 marks worth of careless mistakes.. I still cant believe this.. I was quite sure i was gonna do rather well for math.. But alas! Dammit.. If i didnt lose 20.5 marks i would have gotten an A.. It's so much better than my god damn just fail.. Just FAIL.. Grrrr..

Bumped into this ex-classmate of mine just now when i was on the way home.. Felt more happy than i should be.. Hmm.. Maybe it's because i havnt seen him for a very long time..

Anyways.. During pe just now, i noticed this butterfly couple on my shoe. And they were mating! They were mating on my shoe! I wonder how long they've been doing that.. And when i tried to shake them off (i just dun like the idea of things having sex on my shoe..), they refused to budge.. Talk about determination..

Good Charlotte concert tmr.. And i'm not going.. Damn damn damn..

2005-07-09T00:21:00.000+08:00

I'm 18! Driving, drinking, clubs... Here i come..

Thanks everyone.. For everything today..

Thank you si si and vic for drawing all over my arms.. Haha.. Some strangers bitched abt me and i overheard.. They said i was trying to act retro.. Ha.. They're just jealous of my funky hand.. And my parents think i got myself tattoos..

Thank you jess, poh siew, yi jun for that ricola thing.. Haha.. Sweet of you..

Thank you vic, si, yarn, jia yi and chicken for having dinner with me.. Gosh the food at essential was great! Yarn thanks for looking all over the palce for a candle.. Jia yi thanks for purposely missing your dinner with yr team mates just for me.. And thanks for getting me that cake! It was a pleasant surprise.. So sweet of you guys..

Thank you yamini for wishing me even though you're like miles and oceans away from me.. So glad to hear from you after so long..

To everyone else i did not mention above.. Thank you!

2005-07-05T15:38:00.000+08:00

I'm hardly in the mood for anything these days..

His words keep ringing in my head.. "Your father's going to die. The doc said i can get a heart attack any time now.."

That had been days ago when he annouced that to me.. He went out at 4pm with my mum to see the doc. By 845pm, he still wasnt back. I was worried sick and when i tried calling him countless times, i couldnt get thru cuz the phone was switched off. For awhile i thought he met in an accident cuz his phone is never off. And the batt never goes flat cuz he charges it everyday..

U can imagine my relief when he finally reached home at 9.. Only to hear the news after that..

Now everyone in the house is tensed up.. We argue over the slightest things.. We bark and shout our heads off at each other over the slightest stupid things..

Like now.. My mum's yelling her head off at me just bcuz i showed that i was not happy when i came back.. I was supposed to do baking with her this afternoon and she knew it. But god knows what happened to make her think i'm coming home late today so she finished everything without me..

And i dont know what to say abt my dad.. He knows he's dying, he's telling the whole world he's dying.. Yet he's smoking even more than ever.

I think i'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.. My dad is fucking dying and he cant be bothered with his health. My mum is screaming at me for every damn thing she thinks is wrong.. And i have my god damn studies to worry about..

I'll either go mad soon or i'll kill myself..

2005-07-04T13:39:00.000+08:00

Finally.. My comp's ok again. It was acting up so i reformatted the entire thing.. Now it's no longer stubborn..

Block Tests finally over.. Have been slacking like anything for the past few days.. Results can wait man.. Now it's time to do everything but worry about results..

How's my new blog look? The quality could have been better though.. Photobucket refused to host my original file cuz it was too big. And so i had to decrease the quality..

Oh ya.. I won this autographed sylvester poster.. Anybody wants? I'm trying to get it sold cuz I'm not such a big fan of his.. The price is negotiable but i think i'm selling it for around 25 bucks.. Do approach me if you're interested.. Like i said the price is negotiable..

2005-06-23T22:09:00.000+08:00

Consider this scenario:

It's 5pm and i'm studying for the upcoming block tests in my room..

Mum: You want to buy dinner now?
Me: No. Why? Are you hungry?

My mum heard me, but she chose to ignore that question and walked out of my room. Soon i dozed off and didnt wake up till 545pm. Seeing that it was still too early for dinner, i continued with my revision. 1 min later..

Mum (angrily): (suddenly appears at my doorway) Since you're SO busy, i'll buy dinner MYSELF.

Bewildered, i got out of my room and asked her what she wanted for dinner so that i would buy it instead. I asked her twice. No reply. She simply responded by storming out of the house.

When she got back, with ONLY her own dinner, she went "depend on you can die ah"

What's up with that..

This happened yesterday. Till now, she's still pissed with me.. Wth man.. Talk about unreasonable..

2005-06-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

To every nice friend of mine out there who intends to get me a birthday present..

I want a Good Charlotte Concert ticket!!!

Pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls!!!

It's just 71 bucks!!

A group of you can all share! I'll pay abit too!

Pls!!!!!! It's my only way of attending the concert i would die for!!

Pls!! I'll be so grateful.. And it'll be my bestest birthday present ever! Thanks a lot..

2005-06-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

I'm such a pig.. After having 1 packet of nasi lemak, bread from delifrance, 1 big cup of barley and 1 big bowl of Post Breakfast Cereal in milk, i'm still craving for food..

It's all famine camp's fault.. To think i actually survived.. Man.. 30+ hours with only packets of drinks to live on.. And to make things worse my team leader was totally not flexible, not to mention boring. My group was generally quiet too and i didnt know anyone there.. Had to make use of my wonderful interpersonal skills there the whole time while i was deprived of food.. How energy draining..

And so i made it.. Amazing for someone who gets hungry 1 hour later after having a bowl of noodles..

Sharon's passing me cookies tmr! She was baking and she actually baked some for me! How nice of her.. I'm now looking forward to tmr morning when i'll see her.. I mean.. when i see the cookies.. food - my new best friend.

2005-06-01T13:35:00.000+08:00

Today's one hell of a screwed up crappy shit of a day..

Fought the urge to go shit in the morning because i wanted to be in sch on time for gp rememdial cuz late comers werent allowed to attend the lesson yesterday.

Left the house at 8am and was damn sure i wont be late bcuz the lesson starts at 9 and it'll only take 30mins to get to sch frm home.

Was later caught in a god damn traffic jam which happened bcuz of an accident between 4 or 5 cursed cars.. Of all places, of all times..

Reached sch at 915 and was abt to run into the room when i saw some of my classmates outside. It turned out that the darn lecturer locked the freaking place up. What the hell.. It's not my freaking fault that i'm late! I made the god damn effort to leave the house early!

In the end we took the bus to imm and hung out there for awhile.. Besides i couldnt go home yet cuz those up there suddenly decided to have a heavy downpour at je.. I was without an umbrella and i was not intending to go straight home when i just hurried out of it like and hour or so ago..

So here i am.. At home and very pissed.. N what's the next thing tt's happening now? My comp is refusing to play any music..

2005-05-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

Afternoon lessons in school today were utterly terrible. I had to endure like 4 to 5 periods of the infamous baba.. I was bored, hungry, sleepy and restless. I really have no idea how i survived that session with him.. We started with moral ed, moved on to talking abt things like what we fear the most, ernest's experiences as teenage idol participant, a preview of ernest's singing and then the whole thing became a horrible singing session.

And he sang after awhile. He was probably fantasizing about a chapel session he's conducting.

After that it was gp. Jia Yi n i couldnt take it anymore and we told him we had to go to the toilet, which we did before proceeding to the cafe for a self-declared break.

Now here's the interesting part..

I had to go home by myself after school and while i was on 97, it started raining. So i prayed for no rain at my place until i reached an area whereby i'll be sheltered from the rain until i reached my home. When i was 1 stop away from my stop, it was still raining. When i reached my stop, the sky was nice n clear and there were no signs of any incoming rain. However, as soon as i walked into the area whereby i would receive shelter all the way home, it started raining heavily.

Moral of the story? God exists!

Shut your trap

Get out of my sight

Coz i'm pyromaniacal

2005-05-22T12:52:00.000+08:00

This blog's like on hiatus or something..

I dont really care.. I mean.. What's there to update when whatever's happening lately is either just daily routines or things screwing up for me..

I think those up there simply enjoy playing games with me..

So what's the latest news? I'm suspended from my cca. How cool is that man.. The teacher called it a "willing suspension".. My ass.. Everyone was like giving me pressure to get myself suspended. Did i have a choice?

Oh but the suspension is something good too i guess.. I never liked the cca.. It's so full of politics and people i dont like.. Plus i dont have to go for the camps and dry runs that would take up half my june hols..

Ha.. He called it a 'temporary suspension' too.. Screw him man.. By the time i can go back to my cca, i dont have to anymore cuz it's either the J2s will be stepping down or the cca will be closed down..

I hope the darn cca closes down.. Along with the people i dont like.. At least i'll then have lesser unpleasant things in my life..

2005-05-02T14:24:00.001+08:00

Cyber Sex
I found this from another blog... Heh heh..

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, Im toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: Im 63 and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. Im also wearing a t-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK.

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: Im taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, It wasnt really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Dont worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think its stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? Im picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now Im licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now Im nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. Im pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: Im pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: Whats the matter?

Wellhung: Ive got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now Im putting it back in the cabinet. And now Im walking back to the bedroom. Wait, its dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: Im tuggin off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately -- our naked bodies pressing against each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why dont you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I cant see very well without them. I place my glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and its dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I cant find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: Whats the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that Ive peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see whats wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No, wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. Im logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart logged off...

2005-04-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

I detest routines.
I want stop.

The Ridiculous Week..

2005-04-23T00:20:00.000+08:00

A rather ridiculous week it has been..

Monday:
Left school at 10pm because i had to stay behind to help paint some banners for cca. Found out later that the "paint" we used was actually white wash that is soluble in water. So in other words, all our efforts kinda went to waste. At 10pm, my dad called and kinda scolded baba.. After that, baba escorted Vic and i home. Yes.. He drove his motorbike behind our cab all the way to our homes. He paid for our cab ride too. How so very nice of that piece of crap..

Tuesday:
Went to some home for the aged for cip. The class kinda screwed up. We didnt plan what to do there and we kinda crapped our way through. It was so embarassing as the people knew we were unprepared. What's worse, when it wasnt time for us to go, they kinda got us to go by telling us that they all needed a nap. In the end, my class didnt complete the number of hours required of us and we hafta do it again some time soon.

Wednesday:
Skipped Math C lecture coz i already studied that topic before and is quite confident about that topic. However, most unfortunately, i got caught by my former math tutor and she kinda scolded me and si si but she said "i'll let you off this time round".
Half an hour later, baba messaged me and si and we had to go see him. Si got an A for her math block test so he couldnt say much. I fucking didnt do well in any of my block test papers so he had plenty to say. After sometime, he told me he's 'considering' suspending me from my ex-co position in cca. 'Consider' eating shit. The last time he said he'll consider suspending someone from my cca for a month only, he got him suspended without consulting the rest of the ex-co when he said he would. Moreover it has been a month already and the suspension has not been lifted yet.
"I'm not punishing you", he said to me. Oh yea sure.

Thursday:
Ate Murtabbak from my school's "Indian Cuisine" stall today together with si si. Although we know of the many rumours of the stallholder's dirty habits, we ignored them as it has been a long time since we last ate from that stall. Moreover we believed we wouldnt be so unfortunate as to get food poisoning. However, later on that night, the two of us shat like nobody's business. Must have been the prata.. Cuz i saw her picking her nose when she was waiting for our prata to be done.. What a pleasant sight it was.

Friday:
Went home after a long day in school, feeling very tired and in need of a good shower. My dear mum however, conveniently greeted me with a "hey i threw away your shoes".
I bury my head somewhere are cry.. My shoes.. Yes i admit one of it was broken at the back but i was intending to repair it when i find the time to do so. Besides, i have all the materials needed to fix the damn shoe. But my mum had to just throw them away when she saw the broken shoe. And she conveniently did it without seeking my permission first.
And that's how my adidas superstar shoes crumbled..

Today:
Hafta be in school in less than 7 hours from now as i have to go for this dry run for a camp organinsed by my cca. The damn dry run is supposed to last for 8 hours but that fuck of a baba told us to be prepared as the dry run will last for 12 hours. He has the all the time in the world but i dont man.. Didnt he say he wanted to suspend me from my position in cca? Why dont he do it soon then? Coz him conveniently wasting more and more of my time away is seriously pissing me off..

2005-04-15T00:35:00.000+08:00

Somehow he pisses the shit out of me everytime i see him, everytime i'm with him.. And somehow, i piss the shit out of him as well when he sees me. And when we're both in a bad mood, we scream at each other and we'll hate each other more and more.

Now that's bad.. Coz we shouldnt be hating each other. And i dont hate him. I'm sure i dont. I cant hate him. It's just wrong to hate him. And I know damn well i care a lot for him. In fact i tink i care too much. But he thinks i've never spared a thought for him at all and that i cant wait for the day he dies. I just feel like slapping the crap out of him eveytime i hear that fuck coming out from his damn mouth..

Last night was horrible. That fucker had no idea how much he hurt me with all the bullshit he was screaming at me. And he did all that with so much ease and hatred. The way he looked at me, the tone he used on me, the things he screamed at me.. I'm never gonna forget it. Never.

He has no fucking idea how much he had hurt me with his false accuses and insults which he so easily hurled at me. He has no damn idea how difficult it is for me to take all this in my stride. He keeps saying i dont respect him, that i've hurt him, that i dont care about him and that i'll be damn happy on the day he dies. But how can that be true??? I've always cared about him! I've been trying so hard to please him, to give him what he wants, to show him that I CARE. AND I REALLY DO CARE. But whatever i do is always not good enough and lately, he's been finding fault in everything i do. He thinks that whatever i do now is with the intention of angering him and making him die early. HOW FUCKING STUPID IS THAT.

It's already been so many years.. I had to go through so many unnecessary shit that i'm sure many people my age has never experienced and will never experience. And during all those times, i kept telling myself things will be fine one day, that i'll just have to tolerate this for awhile and everything will be ok soon. I cried myself to sleep every night, but i woke up each day with hopes for a new beginning. And for years i did that, believing that things will be ok one day.. But i've been deceiving myself. Coz it just got worse and worse as each miserable day passes. I kept telling myself that all those nights of crying would be worth it one day, that all the fucked up experiences i went through were all going to be a bad nightmare i was going to wake up from.

Last night, after he screamed at me, after i blindly ran out of the room and cried my eyes out, after i found myself crazily punching the kitchen wall out of hatred, frustration and misery, when i finally stopped punching the wall and leaned weakly on the same wall, i realised that it was all not worth it, that i've lied to myself for so many years, that i'll never be able to come home one day and be greeted at the door by anyone in the house. Yea.. No one acknowledges the fact that i'm home whenever i get home from sch. NO ONE. No one asks me about my day in school, no one asks me if i have had my dinner, no one even bother to look at me. Not even when i said hello. Why? Because they think i choose to stay in school till very late just so that i can see less of them, when in fact i always tried to rush home asap coz they used to tell me they get worried when i'm out late. Because he thinks i cant wait to see him die.

Someone once told me to believe that 'Life is beautiful'. Yea maybe it is.. Maybe it is beautiful for those people with mothers that tickle them out of bed in the morning, parents that ask how their day in school was, family members who listen to what you have got to say and not family members who tell you to shut up when you try to start a nice happy conversation with them. To think such people complain to me about how sad their lives are sometimes..

Look at how sad is mine..

2005-04-07T21:33:00.000+08:00

I'm sneezing like mad and suffering from slight fever.
I'm damn ill and i still hafta do a crap gp presentation on globalisation.
I'm annoyed by the fact that i missed chase and Utt for something like gp.
I'm lacking of 1 miserable damn mark to jump 1 darn grade for gp block test.
I'm in need of lotsa sleep and i'm not getting much of it.
I'm not sure if i can skip CCA tomorrow and i really want to coz i bloody end at 11.15am and CCA starts at 3.00pm.

I am ABSOLUTELY NOT happy.

2005-03-26T01:22:00.000+08:00

Good Charlotte.
Joel Madden.
Black.
Simple.

Done.

For now at least..

2005-03-25T03:41:00.000+08:00

And so i changed my blog skin.. Well it's not really done yet but i'm too tired to continue.. Shall do so another time..

2005-03-24T23:48:00.000+08:00

Block tests finally over.. As usual, results are gonna be screwed.. Didnt have time to study and wasnt feeling too well.. Had migraine and stomachache practically everyday.. And also coz i'm just stupid. I'm starting to lose respect for myself.. How sad is that..

The 5 of us went out right after the papers.. Watched spongebob the movie.. Wth.. The movie sucked. Stupid lame shit.. Wasted my 7.50.. And to think a couple of girls sitting behind me were having the time of their lives.. They were like singing along to every song sang in the movie..

And there's this lady i wanna talk about.. She was sitting opposite me in the train and was happily sleeping away.. She kept smiling (big smile.. with teeth) and mumbling to herself.. And the whole time she was doing that, she was fingering her own hands.. I'm very sure she was fantasizing about herself and some guy she likes.. How embarassing.. Lotsa ppl were staring at her..

Haha.. Jia yi made my day.. She messaged me just now and told me her mum praised me. I guess she showed her mum the neoprints we took today.. "Hey my mother say your beauty is those slowly see then think you pretty.." AHAHAHA.. Hail her mum! My head is now almost the same size as Miss Mah's.. Muahaha..

2005-03-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

Realised i forgot to mention something very important.. So here goes..

To Calista and Calista only:

GET WELL SOON!! Although you'll need like 14 days to recover, at least you dont have to take block tests and undergo the stress everyone else is going through.. I'm quite sure my brain's gonna bleed dry by monday.. With all the caffeine i'm consuming and the little rest i'm giving it..

Yup.. Dont scratch, dont take unhealthy food.. Drink lotsa water, have lotsa rest, think of me lots and you'll recover in no time! Press on and take care!

With lotsa love,
Ah Li

2005-03-18T22:28:00.000+08:00

I'm dead.. As dead as the ant i killed 2 hours ago and the killer bee which i just caught and threw away.. Block test 1 is 3 days away and i'm definitely not prepared for it. And the feeling definitely isnt good. I've been doing badly for anything related to studies eversince i got into JC.. I want to get things right this year but look what's happening - nothing's changing.

What's worse.. People tend to irritate me (without knowing it i suppose..) most of the time when i'm online.. No.. Not just when i'm online.. When i'm in school, at home, anywhere..

And to everyone else.. Dont associate. I do not want to be associated. And all the best for block tests..

I need to change my blog skin.. It's too dull.. Gonna find time to create my own skin soon.. But then again.. "Soon" can be 9 months from now..

2005-03-15T20:05:00.000+08:00

Talk about contradictions..
I was on my way home when someone holding a clipboard and pen approached me..

Her: Hi I'm not gonna ask for your money or anything but can i just have a word with you for a minute? I wont take up much of your time.

Me: Yes?

Her: I'd like to ask you.. If you see this girl who's blind and deaf and trying to make her way up the stairs, and she can see that no one is approaching her to help her, what do you think she'll be thinking?

Me: She'll want help?

Her: Yea ok. I'd like to ask you.. If you put yrself in her shoes and you really really want help but no one is helping, how would you feel?

Me: Miserable??!

Her: You'll feel miserable?

Me: YES?!!

Her: Ok. Can i ask you to help and donate, not a lot.. Just 10 bucks to such people like her? I'm with this association who's trying to help out this girl who's undergoing operation and she needs money.

2005-03-10T21:27:00.000+08:00

Hahaha.. Today's so interesting.. Had such an exciting morning..

The minute i reached school, Jia Yi and Si Si was like "Eh someone is looking for you coz you owe that person money." I was very surprised when i heard that coz i was quite sure i dont owe anyone money.. So i chose not to believe what they said. But later on Yuan Sheng showed me the msg he received from that person and it was very obvious someone was looking for me. Someone called Yin Jin.. Someone i dont know at all. And she claimed i owe her money. For the entire day i felt disturbed and bothered.. Until my dear fren donna told me the whole story. Apparently she owed Yin Jin money and told her to get the money from me without telling me first. What the hell man.. Ha but it was rather amusing.. I'm amused by my own reaction and what went thru my mind when i saw the message.. Sometimes i really think too much..

Top 3 quotes of the week:

1) "mothballs attract moths"
2) "I'm not bias to anyone. In fact i favour you"
3) "Discrete Variable has a finite number of possible values or countable infinite number of possible values"

2005-03-06T16:27:00.000+08:00

Wahaha.. I look funky! Went to clippers yesterday to get a hair cut.. That Alvin Lee is damn friendly.. I like that guy.. A pity i dont really know how to style my hair.. I cant seem to get back exactly what they did for me.. I got the hair and the wax.. Now i just need to hire a good hair stylist..

Oh ya.. I'm finally rid of chinese after 11 long years.. Thank goodness for that.. My oral sucks though.. Hahaha.. Got a miserable pass only.. But who cares.. I'm never needed to read chinese to 2 boring looking people sitting in front of me ever again..

Next few things that are gonna happen to me..

Mon - PW results, CWY test which i havnt finished studying. Rollerblading course. Damn.
Tue - A very early school dismissal time. Happiness.
Wed - CCA which i am totally not looking forward to.
Thu - Gym duty. Boring.
Fri - Sch ends early! CCA would have an event at night which i have yet to plan.

And of course not to forget intense mugging for upcoming Block Tests.. And i'm totally behind time according to my study plan.. Damn damn damn..

2005-03-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

HA. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy happy happy. I got an A for 2.4. FINALLY after so long i finally got rid of my usual Cs and Ds.. Ha.. Must be the $1 shoes..

Skipped chinese lessons today and feeling guilty about it.. The teacher's been so nice to us considering how we've been treating her.. I know i dont pay attention during her lessons.. Sometimes i sleep and sometimes i eat.. Sometimes i have my earphones in my ears.. This is terrible.. I think i'm gonna write her a nice long apology letter to her for my atrocious attitude towards her after i graduate or something.. Or my guilty conscience would just eat me up sooner or later..

Watched this jap anime called Howl's Moving Castle with the usal ppl - vic, si, jy, yan. It's been a long time since the 5 of us went out together.. I hate JC. It's eating up my life. As if being a vennian and taking Fm isnt boring enough.. I'm now stripped of quality time spent with both friends and family.. Soemtimes i feel sorry for myself..

2005-02-26T22:37:00.000+08:00

AHAHA. No more retainers for me. No more visits to the orthodontist for me. HAPPINESS HAPPINESS.

Heh.. i went to town today for my appointment with the orthodontist and found out that it would be my last apointment. Was damn happy when i knew that. After 2 damn years.. I'm finally rid of plastic things in my mouth..

Feeling very high after my appointment with Alfred Cheng, i wanted to go to Clippers for my hair.. But very unfortunately, i couldnt coz my dad had to rush to the bank and as usual he insisted he has to drive me home.. I wanna get my hair cut!! It's so freaking hot i cant stand it anymore.. I dun care.. I'll visit clippers nxt sat.

N i saved an ugly caterpillar's life today.. How nice of me..

N i bought a pair of running shoes for $1. Reebok somemore. Ha.. Beat that.

I cant find lola ray's album and i really want their album.

I cant do equilibrium of rigid bodies and kinematics. I think it's time to drop fm..

I cant do chem tut cuz i left my damn tys in sch. How smart of me.

I cant do phy tut cuz it's damn hard. Either that or i'm just stupid.

I'm suppose to be doing gp stuff now but i'm certainly not in the mood for that now.

1 Martini for her.
2 at most.
3 she's under the table.
4 she's under the host.

2005-02-21T00:16:00.000+08:00

It has been a busy week yet again.. With v-day and all the preparation of v-day gifts and also for Sajc's Campus Rumpus and last but not least, TUTORIALS, i'm finding it hard to update this thing regularly now..

Anyway.. V-day was nice.. I got lotsa presents.. Thanks everyone! I feel so loved! Haha..

Preparation for the school's fun fair was really exhausting.. Cuz i had to take care of two stalls - One for my CCA( cuz i'm over-all incharge for cca booth), and one for my class. The sourcing of materials for my CCA stall was very frustrating cuz many outlets i went to didnt sell the materials i needed and everything was very last minute. Partly my fault i guess.. I'm sure that piece of lard will talk about it soon.. I so cannot wait for that to happen.. The preparation of my class's stall wasnt very slack either.. We had to finish many pre-odered bookmarks and we lacked materials like cardboard. Although i admit i didnt do much for the class stall (cuz i was really busy wif cca.. my classmates, i'm so sorry..), i did do some of the stuff..

I guess the fun fair was a success.. Although my 2 stalls didnt get much profit, i still think Campus Rumpus was a very fun experience.. I enjoyed the Haunted House the most.. It was super entertaining..

And there's one thing that happened in the fun fair i'll never forget - I SHOOK SUN YAN ZI"S HAND!! OMG YES! She came to my sch as a celebrity guess and half the school flocked around her wherever she went. It was a miracle i managed to shake her hand.. To all Stef fans out there.. U can kiss my hand.. Wahaha... A pity i couldnt get her to sign her autograph on my phone.. If not i'll be rich..

One last thing.. Donna and Zaph you two promised to come and you didnt! I dont know what to say about that man.. I'm glad i met my junior and thomas there.. And i'm totally heartbroken and disappointed for not being able to meet up with Pat and Dian.. Patrica Petrus.. Yes Pat.. Patttttttt.. And Diannnnnnnnnnnnnn..

I got nothing to say..

2005-02-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

I think i'm starting to neglect more and more things in my life. No.. I have neglected many things in my life and i'm neglecting more and more now. Some things i've neglected and took for granted but these things never neglected me. Some things i've not neglected but these things have already forgotten me. I didnt cherish many things i should have cherished before and now i guess it's too late. And i've realised that the things i used to cherish and maybe still am cherishing havnt been needing my attention all this while.

It took me so long to realise how much i might have hurt others, and also how much others have hurt me.. All this because i was so engrossed in trying to succeed and also because i was being selfish and self centered. I didnt want to feel all confused by thinking about such things so i always pushed such thoughts aside. As a result, i loved the wrong people and neglected the people i should have loved with all my heart.

I know i'll never be able to completely forget the hurt i'm feeling now. But what's done's done. I know i'll never be able to get back the people i've hurt and i know i'll never be able to forget how i've stupidly cheated, deceived and lied to myself for all these years.

I've made mistakes in the past and i dont want to make the same mistakes again. I dont want to neglect the wrong things again. I dont want to cherish the wrong things again. I dont want to hurt again. I dont want to be more hurt. I dont want to deceive and be deceived again. But nothing out there can ensure all this.

And i've also realised something else tonight. My life's slowly falling apart. I'm not suceeding in anything now, unlike in the past, when i seemed to be suceeding in everything. Important relationships are failing and it's beyond me to do anything to slow it down or stop it. My academic performance has been stinking for very long now and somehow i cannot seem to improve on that. I'm starting to lose control of my own life and i know it. I also know i'm losing faith in everything now, even myself.

I feel so lost, helpless, hopeless. And i think i'll be feeling like that for a very long time.

Maybe i'm losing it..

To all whom i've hurt - I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Forget me as well. Forget the hurt.

To all whom have hurt me - I'm sorry too. I'm sorry i had to meet asses like you. Fuck you. But i want to thank you as well for making me fall. Because all these falls made me realise a lot of things..

2005-02-13T11:54:00.000+08:00

It's been a very very busy week.
And i'm toally beat.
My whole body's aching now, especially my feet.
To complete work before lunch today would be an impossible feat.
I'm just gonna admit defeat..

2005-02-09T01:16:00.000+08:00

Ok so i changed my blog's outlook.. Well i kinda got tired of the previous look. Plus i was bored.. Hence..

Give me yr comments about the new look ya.. Thanks..

2005-02-06T10:41:00.000+08:00

Dammit man.. All i wanted to do was to add the section "archives" so that you guys can read my old entries.. And yea.. I did add this new section sucessfully.. BUT MY DAMN PIC IS NOW POSITIONED WRONGLY AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

Can anyone of u help me? I'll be very grateful..

2005-02-06T10:03:00.000+08:00

Went to my cousin's 21st bday party last nite.. At first i was bored to death but later on it got better..

I met this senior of mine who's 3 years older than me.. Never expected to see him there.. Like me, he was from swiss and from the prefectorial board. He was also a former student of Sajc.. He's in uni now.. Surprisingly he could still rmb wad class i was in.. I couldnt even rmb his name and i had to ask him for it.. How embarassing.. He rmbed me but i did not.. Anyway his name's Daniel.. I'm sure most prefects from swiss will know him..

And guess wad i found out after tt.. He's my cousin's boyfren.. Omg.. He's gonna be related to me if he marries my cousin.. I dun know what to say.. Ha.. But one thing i cound still tease him about since sec sch until now is his height.. Wahaha.. After so many years, he's still shorter than me.. That hopeless ass.. Heh heh..

I'm downloading whatever songs from The Phantom Of The Opera Soundtrack i can find now.. I'm gonna blast them on my hi-fi later.. The music's so grand.. I love it! Too bad the Cd is so ex.. And too bad i got no money..

2005-01-27T20:30:00.000+08:00

Blah: Hey ppl.. tmr need to bring 2 can food.. stuffs that can be recycled and ya fun fair coupon...
After some time..
Blah: Hey wad recycling stuffs ya bringing arh?
Without thinking much..
Me: I dunno.. Toilet paper? You leh?
Blah: ya bringing the toilet roll arh.. actually i am not very sure.. Is bring recycled stuffs or stuffs to be recycled?
Me: I duno.. Nvm la.. toilet paper is recycled stuff and it can be recycled.. (at this pt in time i'm laughing like hell already)
Blah: Haha okie.. smart arh.. so ya bring 1 roll?

Heh Heh.. Blah's so stupidly innocent..

Oh and guess wad.. There's a plane called Phyllis and it's owned by a band called Phyllis too! And there's also something called Phyllis Lake and jewelery called Phyllis Mendell! This is so cool.. Check them out:

Cool eh?

2005-01-26T16:58:00.000+08:00

I can see that this blog is turning stale.. What to do.. I'm a lazy blogger.

The only reason why i'm blogging now is because i'm not in the mood to study for a test that's tmr..

I've no idea what's wrong with me.. I actually went to K-box today cuz vic and si 'persuaded' me to go.. Ok i didnt have much choice..

My impression of k box still hasnt changed.. I still think it's a cheena place and a place mainly for those cheena chao bengs and lians who think they're so damn cool when all they know is the word chee bye..

Of cuz i'm not saying vic, si and i are those ppl.. I guess spending $7 in tt place with vic n si wasnt as bad as i thought it would be.. Man.. Si can really hit the high notes.. N vic! Vic! i wouldnt have guessed it.. Of all things.. Vic is actually good at rapping! I'm never gonna laugh at her singing ever again..

N let me stress this again.. I'm NOT cheena. Besides.. Si and vic did most of the singing.. All i sang was jay chou's an jing n some f.i.r songs and some sappy old love songs that i havnt heard in ages.. Man.. K box really should update their eng songs.. This might just make it less cheena..

Hey can someone set up a "save the phyllis" fund raising thing for me? I'm seriously very broke.. N i still need to buy a new bag, new bottle, new shoes and clothes.. Ppl save me..

2005-01-15T10:11:00.000+08:00

She'll be tumbling down the mountain when she comes
She'll be tumbling down the mountain when she comes
She'll be tumbling down the mountain
She'll be tumbling down the mountain
She'll be tumbling down the mountain when she comes

He's a screwed up teacher he cant teach
He's a screwed up teacher he cant teach
He's a screwed up teacher
He's a screwed up teacher
He's a screwed up teacher he cant teach

I'm a lazy lazy blogger i dont blog
I'm a lazy lazy blogger i dont blog
I'm a lazy lazy blogger
I'm a lazy lazy blogger
I'm a lazy lazy blogger i dont blog

2005-01-07T05:23:00.000+08:00

Ok as u can see i havt updated since duno when.. It's not like there's nothing in my life to talk about.. It's just that i'm too frickin busy to update..

Basically life sucks now.. I'm very deprived of sleep.. Like right now.. I'm typing this in a very weird time.. Half an hour later i hafta prepare for school.. And i have lotsa things due today which are not done.. I'm so lagging behind..

Happy new year to all..

2004-12-29T20:52:00.000+08:00

Ahh what a day.. I've done nothing constructive at all.. Absolutely nothing.. My guilty conscience is eating me up alive..

All i did today was to go shopping with my mum.. We shopped the whole day and i bought nothing.. At least my mum got herself a bag..

What a waste of my precious time.. I'm starting to give up on my hopes of getting all my hw done before school starts..

One eye-opener though.. While shopping, i saw this group of cops confronting this little kid in front of his mum.. It seems like that little boy stole a mobile phone without his mum knowing it.. What's worse.. He refused to hand over the stolen phone to the cops.. It took 3 cops to get the phone back from that 5 or 6 year old kid.. And when that kid lost possession of the phone, he fought with one of the cops.. What a kid..

2004-12-29T11:34:00.000+08:00

The news yesterday was full of reports on the earthquke and tsunami that affected many parts of asia.. N my mum made a comment that made me realise how lucky i am.. "Werent you supposed to be on a cruise at around this time of the year?"

Oh man.. Thank god i chose to go on 1 dec instead.. Or else..

And i just realised.. I have friends in Indo and India now.. I really hope they're ok..

To all the families affected by this earthquake.. May you have the strength to overcome this time of your life.. When the odds are so against you.. God bless..

2004-12-28T01:02:00.000+08:00

Dammit.. I just learnt that cute but cool joel madden of a cool band called good charlotte is seeing hilary duff that son of a bitch poser.. I cant believe this.. Of all girls in the world to date.. He must be blind.. Or hilary must be clinging on to him too much.. Yea.. That must be it..

Just look at my bestest best fren.. Tt blardy slut..

Lol who knows.. Maybe joel's intending to play her out.. Yea i hope he kicks her ass.. I dont like her.. Blardy poSER.. Like "Oooh i'm so damn punk but i sing POP".. i'm sorry but can she sing? N wad's that about acting? Screw her.. Joel Madden u better make her sorry..

N best fren.. I hope u get screwed too.. U darn slut..

2004-12-27T21:50:00.000+08:00

My poor aching butt has been aching since last nite thanks to too much cycling.. Put it this way.. It's easier for me to shit now..

N i learnt so many new things tonight.. All within an hour after talking to a fren whom i knew since primary school..

For instance, i found out she's into the same kinda music as i am.. Something i never knew until tonight.. And something i find quite amzaing cuz she used to like another kind of music in the past.. Haha yea..

N she introduced me to a band.. Lolo Ray.. Ha.. I just listened to their music i just downloaded.. Man.. Lola ray just found themselves another fan.. N i think i'm gonna buy their album..

N another thing.. I found out that her ex-classmate is like one of my good buddies in sec sch.. Yea.. Her classmate for 1 year now is someone i knew since sec one.. N i didnt know that till now..

N she is the ex-classmate of another one of my ex-classmates..

N this dear fren of mine is..... *drum rolls*... Donna Tan.. Yea.. Someone i know for like what? 7 years?

It's funny.. I hafta admit.. We didnt have much in common 7 years ago.. But now.. I duno.. I find it amazing what 7 years can do..

The things u learn and experience everyday..

2004-12-24T20:05:00.000+08:00

The year's ending.. A new year's starting..

Somehow i have no plans for the new year.. I duno why but i've been feeling rather lost for the past few days.. I keep thinking about everything i've screwed up this year and everything i've done right this year.. And somehow.. I'll lose myself in my own thoughts. Everytime i try to find my way, i'll get even more lost..

And there are particular memories which i wonder why they keep coming back to me.. And everytime they come back, i'll feel a sense of regret and joy at the same time.. Weird feeling..

2004-12-22T10:33:00.000+08:00

Another bad day for me..

Had a terrible night.. Couldnt sleep till abt 4am and my stupid alarm woke me up at 6.30am and i couldnt get back to sleep till 7am and i had to wake up at 9am..

When i managed to crawl out of bed, the very first thing tt greeted me was a splitting headache..

And the next thing tt greeted me was the sounds of my mum screaming her head off at my bro..

And during breakfast, for some reason i felt like puking..

And now i'm in such a horrible mood, i cant do my homework.. This means i hafta do up my schedule for the holidays again cuz i'm not gonna complete all my work at this rate that i'm going now.. This also means i hafta cramp more things in a day.. How absolutely crappy.. 2 months given to me to complete my work n now i'm left with less than 2 weeks thanks to cca and pw and all that crap..

My life is so full of crap..

2004-12-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

This entry shall be dedicated to a girl named Joyce.
JOYCEYOUBETTERFEELHONOUREDYOUWANTEDONESOHERESONE.

hahahaletmebeginthislovelyentryfordearoldjoyce
whoislikemyseksehhottehbabehhehhehhavefun
readingjoycei'msureyoulllikethislovelylittleentry
fromyourseksehhonnehwhoissuchasmartehpanteh
yeaiknowyoullloveitsinceyoulovemesomuchandi
loveyouthatmuchtooanditsallwithinsoyoudunhafta
sayitoutandimsureyouknowthattoobuttoobad
yourenotasmartehpantehlikemeyetandyounever
willbemuahahaimsureyourefeelingsodamnhighnow
afterreadingallthisbutiknowyourenothighenough
soishallcontinuethislovelyentryfrommetoyouoh
thatsoundssosweetsoletsdoitagainyesjoyceim
sureyourelovingthisentryfromyoursweeteh
honnehwhoisososweetandlovelehandseksehand
hottehandallthethingsyoualwayscallmeandyou
knowwhateventhoughyouarealwaysbluffingmeand
alwaysdenyingthatyouarealwaysbluffingmeiwillstill
loveyouandyouknowitrightlikeisaiditsallwithinyou
knowitiknowitandnooneelsehaftaknowitexceptusjust
thetwoofusandnooneelsebutthetwoofusandonlythe
twoofusiknowyoulovemetobitsjustlikeyoulovethis
entrytobitscuzthisentireentryisdedicatedtoonlyyou
rememberofcuzyouremembereventhoughyoureno
smartehpantehlikemecuzyourethedummehwhoisso
lovedandlovesmewholovesyouwholovesmetooand
ofcuzthispreciousentrythatisdedicatedtoyouibet
yourefeeling veryhighnowbecauseofthislovelyentry
toyouyoubetterbehonoured.

hahahahaha.............

Looking forward to baking with you! Elf boots.. Ha..

2004-12-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

I'm back!! Didnt have as much fun as i expected i'll have but i didnt leave without experiencing new stuff..

For instance.. I went to Bangkok's most notorious street one night..
The things you hear - "Come in for free look!", "Happy hour HAPPY HOUR!", "for the hot lovers"..
The things you see - bartop dancing and pole dancing (and it's the gays and trannies doing it.. not the girls.. But dammit.. they were damn blardy HOT!! The things they wore! So kinky and sexy and whoa!!), "Hard cock cafe", Gays, Stall owners masturbating in front of their very own shops, Beggers who try to act like they're handicapped when they are obviously not, Stall owners who try to rip you off (we got something for 250 bahht when the owner was demanding us to pay for the same thing for 950 bahht)...
My poor bro was damn traumatised after he left that place.. Cuz lotsa gays and trannies approached him many times.. The poor guy..

Oh and i learnt magic tricks! Heh heh.. I'm gonna trick the whole world n leave everyone bewildered..

And i had an elephant ride.. I sat on the elephant's bare skin n after i got off.. My poor butt was itching.. The damn animal's hair is like damn sharp.. N when i was taking a picture with it, it tried to lift me to it's back again with it's trunk and dripped its saliva all over my jeans..
It just loved me too much..

Haha.. And on the way back to singapore, a guy beside me on the plane tried flirting with me.. The poor guy.. I just gave him the cold shoulder all the way..

OH.. AND MY COUSIN DUN LOOK LIKE UTT ANYMORE! Dammit.. That idiot cut his hair n now he dun look like utt anymore!!! That stupid ass..

Oh but nvm.. At least i;m sure i had more fun than those who went for the class chalet.. Muahaha...

2004-12-12T23:02:00.000+08:00

Almost finished with my marathon.. I'm like left with the thailand trip.. Darn.. the class is like going for chalet tmr.. N i cant go.. I miss si si n all.. Oh but how fun can it get wif a wild boar arnd..

Have fun ppl.. While i have even more fun..

2004-12-04T20:04:00.000+08:00

Muahaha... The cruise was so darn good.. The food.. The guys.. The sea.. The sun.. The sauna.. The Casino.. The Pub.. The Disco.. The Arcade.. The Performances.. The World's Tiniest man (68cm, 5kg.. My fren will be so happy with his 163..).. The food.. The food.. The food.. FOOD.

Gawd the food.. It was damn good.. And it was free!!! And the waiters were cute.. Heh heh.. And i acted like an 18 yr old.. It's nice to be 18 man.. U get to experience lotsa stuff.. U get the casino, alcohol, clubbing.. Woohoo.. There's even a topless show.. But i didnt go for that.. Like wth for.. I have what they have..

Oh n i tink i'm starting to love best fren more n more.. N i can see that lotsa other people are loving best fren too.. How nice..

2004-12-01T17:31:00.000+08:00

I just came back from Ubin.. Have been there since 29 nov for the year end camp's dry run (actual camp on 6 dec).

And i'm totally stoned. And my whole body is painfully aching. And i got painful blisters. And painful ulcers. And best fren ahmad (SCREW YOU) is darn right getting on my nerves. And i'm leaving for a cruise tonight.

My screwed up schedule for the hols:

29/11 - 01/11 : Camp dry run at Ubin
01/12 - 03/12 : Cruise
06/12 - 09/12 : Ubin Camp
10/12 - 12/12 : CCA Ex-Co Retreat (i'm damn sure it wont be a retreat..)
13/12 - 16/12 : Overseas

I'll be in "bei hoon" mode soon..

2004-11-27T20:28:00.000+08:00

Darn.. Things are getting more and more out of hand.. And i can do nothing about it.

I HATE this feeling. I despise it. I want to spit at it. I want to crush it. Kill it. Once and for all.

And i smell something fishy too.. Maybe i'm just paranoid.. I dun know. But i really dun like this.

I hope it ends soon... I'm really tired..

2004-11-26T16:40:00.000+08:00

Today's so wth.. Kinda confirmed something about my best fren today.. Damn.. How i love her..

N baba today.. Wth.. If i had a gun, i would have shot him a long time ago..

2004-11-25T21:04:00.000+08:00

I just watched Singapore Idol and i felt like strangling Taufik when he cried.. His prob's like so minor compared to mine.. Damn.. If he's me, i bet he'll be crying every sec..

If my life's playing on a vcr now, i'll do anything to pull out the plug.

2004-11-23T23:40:00.000+08:00

Watched "The shuter" and "The Incredibles". Now i'm very much broke.. Both movies were ok i guess.. I'll rate both 3/5. Shutter was kinda scary but predictable. Incredibles wasnt very funny but every part of the show captures your attention.

N i think besides blink.. There's someone else now. Now i have 2.. I'm so hopeless.. This guy's from Boston.. I havnt seen him for a long time n i just saw his recent pic today..

One word - WOW.

N i've decided.. The nick shall be "bumble bee".

Hmm.. One's from Australia and one's from Boston.. Tsk tsk.. What has gotten into me...

And there's more.. Quite a few people have recently said to me the very same thing - "One day you're just going to marry an indian and dash yr parents' hopes.."

My poor parents.. Australia, Boston, India..

Definitely far from what they want.. Hmm..

2004-11-22T22:09:00.000+08:00

Damn blog. Stubborn shit.. It refused to allow me to blog until today! And so many things have been happening..

CCA is driving me nuts la.. Everything is last minute.. Everything comes right after one another.. I'm sick of rushing for this, making way for that.. OK. I know there are others who are doing more than me but i have problems of my own ok.. Problems i'm sure no one else have.. So although i'm not doing as much as some others, i'm still totally stressed out.

I've been thinking.. I think i've screwed up this year pretty badly. In fact, i think this yr's my most screwed up year. My life's a total mess now. And what's making all this more exciting is that i'm tired. I'm sick of everything. I've no more strength left in me for untangling myself from all this mess called 'my life'.

But i have to. Or my shit life will just get more n more messed up.

What's better still - i hafta please everyone around me all the time when i cant even settle my own problems.

My own problems are getting more and more out of hand. And i dont know how to end all this.

End my life? No way. I'm not gonna do that.

But right now.. it seems like that's the only solution to everything.

I really hope i can get out of this mess soon. I've had enough.

2004-11-15T21:33:00.000+08:00

Her: Hey.
Me : Hey.
Her: There's gym duty tmr but it's voluntary. U wanna go?
Me : It's voluntary right?
Her: Yea it is.
Me : Ok can i not volunteer?
Her: Can. Training is on wed at 8 though.
Me : Yea i know. Thanks.
Her: Yea ok.
Me : Ok thanks. Bye.
Her: Bye.

Ha.. To hell with bah bah..

2004-11-12T21:25:00.000+08:00

I lost my voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!
I saw blink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Blink saw me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!
I malu myself infront of blink!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!
We wore the same shirt!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!
I injured my left arm!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Blink kept looking at me!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!

2004-11-09T01:57:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 6am when i've been waking up at 12pm lately today to arrive at sch today at 715am to be audience for Yk's grp's op however it turned out we didnt hafta go in the end and no one had the blardy sense to inform us and i woke up with a sore throat and i'm so gonna fall sick soon and i went out with the gang today and we bought jia yi and vicki their birthday presents and now i'm left with wei yan's sai's dearie's cheena lian's and da xiang's which is a lot of people and i'm broke and somehow i ended up watching "princess die 2" although i was broke and terms with them are still not good and i'm sick and tired of trying to please everyone and i need a break and i'm going to jy's house for pw tmr and even that's a problem cuz we took forever to decide on the time and that pissed me off i dun know why we cant seem to agree on things lately and i just want all this to be over and i only got cheered up for a few seconds when blink replied my msg which cheena lian kinda made me send and i think i should try to forget about blink but i cant and that's gonna drive me crazy soon but i dont care cuz i think i'm already crazy and i'm totally sick of all this shit in my life as nothing is going right lately and dun ask me why cuz i dont know why give me a gun now and i'll shoot myself with it but i know i cant cuz it's wrong to commit suicide but anyway whatever i'm doing now and have been doing since the beginning of this year doesnt seem right to them so it doesnt really matter if i kill myself now but then again it does matter cuz there's still blink and i'm really sleepy now so i shall stop and if you have no idea what the hell i've just typed well i really dont care cuz whatever i care for this year simply isnt worth it and i dont know why but i'm still caring ok basically just keep it shut if you dun understand what the hell i just said cuz like i said i dont give a damn

2004-11-06T01:45:00.000+08:00

Ha.. another major load gone.. Chinese is over! I dun care if the paper is quite hard.. It's over and tt's all that matters..

Went out with vic, si and jia yi after chinese for lunch at mos before we went to lido to watch "The Doll Master".. It's some korean flick tt was supposed to be scary but in the end i couldnt stop luffing. On my left were a group of guys who couldnt stop cursing, in front of me a couple couldnt stop screaming for no reason, and on my right, jia yi kept asking abt insignificant details abt the movie ("eh where's the doll's head arh?", "eh why everyone screaming arh?", "eh what the girl reaching out for?") while si and vic were watching more of their windbreakers that the movie.. Ha.. And behind me was someone who sat alone and she looked like one of the dolls in the show cuz her face was like damn pale..

Si said scary movies must watch in theatres for the atmosphere.. But i tink the atmosphere at lido today was hilarious la.. Ha.. I've decided.. Whenever i need to watch a scary movie, i'll watch it with the 3 of them.. It'll be damn funny.. And i'll haf fun scaring vicki.. Muahaha.. She was so scared today, she broke her hair band! Hahaha..

Oh and i'm high now! Have been like tt since yesterday.. Yesterday was blink day! Heh heh.. Blink is cuter than i expected.. Wahaha..

I used to tink he was just a pretty face.. But now.. I know he's much more than that!! =D

2004-11-02T20:05:00.000+08:00

WARNING!
EXPLICIT CONTENT. Parental Advisory Advised.
Do not proceed further if you are against offensive language.
Something to take note before proceeding..
I DO NOT have anything against Jesus Christ.
And i dun hate bah bah i guess.. I just dislike him..

"Always" – Queen of Cool

As Queen of Cool is cursin’
And You can't see her smile
It's nothing but some feelings
That lim bah bah kicked up

It's been raining since you came here
Now my life is so screwed up
This song is only for that bah bah
So come join in if you hate him

Now i can sing a curse song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess i’m just too good at this shit
But baby, that's just me

And i'll hate you, bahbah - Always
And i'll curse you forever and a day - Always
I'll damn you till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
Jesus Christ cried
And i know when i die, you wont be on my mind
And i'll hate you - Always

All your lectures that you gave us
Are just nothing but some pieces of shit
Some that helped us sleep, some that made us pissed
One that made us hate you to the core
What I'd give to stuff some fuck shit up your arse
To slit your throat, to shoot you dead
When you say your prayers you bore me to death
You’re so damn fat, you turn me off

Oh when your armpits sweat, you stink up the class
When we let down our ties you'll keep up a fuss
Hey please get a life coz you really should
Just get rid of your fucking system of sense

Yeah, I'll hate you bahbah - Always
And I'll curse you forever and a day - Always

If I told you to go to hell
You should
If I told you to screw yourself
You cant
Take a look at your dick
It’s too small to be screwed
You can screw your raisins instead

Well, just go to hell
Fuck OFU
And bahbah if you give me just one more try
I can load up my shotguns
And you’ll be dead
You'll go to hell and I wont fuckin give a damn

And I'll hate you, bahbah - Always
And I'll curse you and a day - Always
I'll damn you till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
Jesus Christ Cried
And I know when I die, you wont be on my mind
And I'll hate you - Always

2004-11-01T18:51:00.000+08:00

Wahaha.. Op's finally over! It's like such a great load has been lifted off my shoulders.. There's still chinese on fri and gpf to be submitted on 10/11/04.. And after that, i'm gonna be free!!!! I cant wait man..

Dad mentioned yesterday tt we might be going to perth sometime in nov.. If that comes true, it'll be so cool.. I love Aust.. And who knows.. I might see blink!! Hahaha.. Such a big fat hope..

Oooooooooooooohhh... But conincidences do happen... Muahahaha..........

2004-10-31T20:47:00.000+08:00

Omg.. my upper right arm has this very great burning sensation now.. All thx to vicki's shaping gel i played with today..

We went to her place today to practise op. Were supposed to do it in JE library's conference room but we could not use it so we ended up at her place..

The whole class was there.. Ha.. Wait till that frickin baba hears about this.. He's always been saying the class is united for all the wrong reasons.. Ha.. If that's so bloody true, then what happened today? We all met to help each other out you SOAB. And we helped each other out without your pressence.. Ha.. You dun feel so important now do you.. WEll guess wad sucker.. U've never been important to the class and u'll never be.

Oh and check it out.. I saw sylvester today! Yea.. Sylvester Sim! I saw him while i was on the way to meet my dad at je.. Too bad i was rushing for time.. Or i would have taken a picture with him and ask him for a photo.. If that really happened, i tink dearie cum my fellow kampong kia will kill me.. heh heh heh..

Oh ya.. I must mention this.. Jia yi used vicki's pw group's program today to measure how beautiful she is.. And guess wad.. heh heh.. The program told her shes TOO PRETTY! Ahaha..

I'm still sick.. I hope this doesnt affect my op tmr...........

2004-10-30T21:34:00.000+08:00

Baba is really getting on my nerves.. Today he has really gone overboard..

My class was supposed to meet him at 9am today for op rehearsal. I rushed to school, thinking i was late, cuz i was still at home when it was already 9am. When i got to sch, i found the class standing inside a dark classroom and baba was no where to be seen.

Everyone filled me in later - Baba claimed he was looking for a room where we could start presenting out op. How so very smart of him. He was the one who told us to come at 9am and he did not know where to conduct the lesson.

Nvm.. After about 1 hour, he was still no where to be seen. The class got impatient and after some time and vicki called him. He told us he still couldnt find a room and he told us a room could only be available at 11am. Wtf.. No idiot was gonna sit around and do nothing for 2 solid hours.. So my class agreed to book the conference room in JE library and do our op there. No one minded paying.. At least it beats idling around for 2 hours..

And somehow.. I ended up representing the class and asking baba for permission for the class to hold the op in JE instead. He got angry and told me he was coming to the classroom.

And so the entire class waited very impatiently for his arrival.. Through this.. I found out SAJC is actually very very big. Cuz it took that fucking pig ages to walk from the staff room to our classroom.

And nvm that he's late and wasted like 1.5 hours.. The minute he stepped into the classroom, he shouted at us. He ordered us to shift all the tables and chairs to the sides of the classroom and told us to stand in a semicircle in front of him. And everything he did after that totally pissed me off.

"DO YOU KNOW YOU BUNCH OF JOKERS ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE?!" That was the very first thing he said. Like wtf man.. At the moment, i was thinking.. He would be the one in serious trouble if my dad knows about this..

Anyway, he went on picking on us.. Like on some ppl who were eating in class, on some guys who were suppose to see him yesterday but didnt, and on people who leaned against the tables and chairs while he reprimanded us for all the stupid reasons you can think of..

Ha... He called all that SERIOUS TROUBLE. Give me a break man.. Serious trouble would really result the very minute i decided to lay hands on him.. Cuz i probably would not do that (as it would be such an insult to me if i touch him) but i would definitely send a bullet right into his pig head if i could.

I cant believe he could actually come up with such nonsense.. Instead of apologising to us for the delay caused by him and him only, he picked on us for small little shit details like leaning against the tables.. Like what the hell.. He delayed the entire shit thing for 3 fucking hours! And he didnt want to take any reponsibility.. And he was lecturing us about being responsible (because fabian apparently lost the school laptop). Moreover, half the class was sick and wanted to leave asap.

I'm just fucking pissed with him. He's really going overboard.. I'm just so unfortunate to have him as my ct, my cca teacher, my gp teacher, my moral edu tutor and my pw supervisor..

He's fucking screwing up my life.. God knows how much of my time he has wasted and because of that, my relationship with my family is becoming very very very strained.

Oh and btw.. My dad just spent 1 hour speaking to him on the phone.. I've no idea what the hell that shit pig was saying to my dad but i bet he was coming up with all sorts of excuses for always delaying cuz my dad sounded quite pissed while talking to him..

Oh and that fucking shit somehow suggested to my dad that since my dad wasnt happy abt me going home late all the time, maybe i should step down as an ex-co member. How so very sweet of that pig.. After so much of my time he has wasted, he's just gonna dump me away just like that..

Fuck that Lim Baba. I dun care if he sees this. I dun give a fucking shit about getting into trouble anymore. I hate him now.

You hear that you son of a bitch? I hope you do.. Burn in hell you fucking asshole.

2004-10-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

Omg i'm freaking out.. Tmr we hafta see baba for op and my grp just lost the only copy of our updated ppt.. And we spent the whole afternoon updating.......

This is just great.

2004-10-29T18:24:00.002+08:00

Ok i was feeling really lousy last nite and i wanted to blog abt it but i fell alseep.. Sry to all those i fell alseep on.. Cuz when i woke up, i realised i fell alseep on 7 ppl on msn..

Anyways.. Today was such a crappy day.. God knows what i went to sch for.. I left sch at arnd.. 11? Went to jia yi's house after tt to do pw with the rest of my grp and si si and toon pang and wei siong.. Ha.. Si si was damn terrified by the dog. Toon pang, wei siong and andy for some reason, wanted to eat it. That other guy? He didnt really care abt the dog.. And neither do i care abt him..

And Vicki joined us later and whoa.. Courage (the dog) went high went he saw her. What to do.. His long lost sister has come to pay him a visit.. It's was like a good old reunion la..

And I feel so sick now.. My throat's all sore and i have difficulty breathing.. This is very bad.. I cant fall ill!! Op is on mon and chinese on fri!! I need all the help i can get man.. Ppl got any remedies?

And i'm still very much bothered by whatever that was bothering me last nite and for the past week.. I really need a break.. Before insanity comes knocking on my door and refuses to leave..

And i need sleep..

And i hafta go to sch tmr for op instead of meeting up with the netis.. Dammit la.. Hmm.. Nvm.. Not like we'll be able to do a good job.. Since i'm having cough and flu.. Argh.. I hate falling sick..

2004-10-29T18:24:00.001+08:00

2004-10-29T18:24:00.000+08:00

2004-10-27T22:18:00.000+08:00

Bishop And The Ass

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in
third!

The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS.
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.

2004-10-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

Ok in my previous post i said i was worried abt mon.. Well i guess it didnt turn out as bad as expected.. And i managed to work out in the gym yesterday so i guess yesterday wasnt so bad.. I'm gonna get "sexy arms and legs and tummy" by christmas!! Wahaha.. And dear vicki shall be my consultant..

Today.. Today kinda suck la.. Duno why arh.. Whole day feel like sleeping although last nite i slept quite alot.. Oh ya.. I fell asleep while having a shower.. Wth.. I was sitting on the toilet floor and i slept for half an hour..

Had ex-co meeting today.. So irritating.. It just popped up out of no where and i was planning to pon gp and chem so tt i could go home and sleep. In the end i became a guai kia today and didnt pon a single thing..

After the meeting.. I realised i had to choose b/w skipping the camp or skipping class chalet and ex-co retreat. Hard decision man.. But after much discussion with dear mummy and daddy, i decided to skip the chalet and retreat.. I tink i'm bloody crazy.. I chose to tire and kill myself in the camp when i could choose to relax in the chalet and retreat...

Oh but wth.. At least there's a higher possibility tt my dream would come true... WAHAHAH.. If it does, i'll be in heaven......

2004-10-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

This is crazy.. A joke is gonna become reality.. I tink i'm going crazy now.. I really cant believe this is happening.. Omg....

And on top of all this.. i haf pw and mon to worry abt.. Shit..

2004-10-23T20:10:00.000+08:00

Woooohoooooo!!!! I'm so hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh!!!! I'm in need of clubbing now.. Heh Heh..

Today's so awesome! I've no idea why.. I'm totally over the moon today..

I guess i went too crazy today during the open house.. I was supposed to be stuck at the booth through out the entire day but i tink i was only there in the morning.. And i'm like the IC for booth duty la.. Oh man.. If word gets to baba, i'm sooo dead..

Oh but who cares! I had a hell lot of fun today and that's all that matters!! We had fun watching all the bands perfomrm.. The soccer band was crazy la.. And wei yan was cool man.. Later, we rehearsed the mass dance in the gym and later decided to join in the mass dance.. It was damn fun la.. Everyone was so high after that dance..

And becuz we all felt damn high, no one wanted to go home.. So i ended up hockeying with star player joyce, goli kia, brother, jie ru and tai tai.. It was crazy.. We hockey-ed and sang and dance and went mad together.. Heh heh... The kampong kias ruled the world for tt few hours.. Muahahah..

Kampong kia all the way!!!!!

2004-10-22T21:50:00.000+08:00

Today's like a super slack day.. And i felt happy n hyper all day cuz i slept at 9.30pm last nite.. Heh heh.. N of cuz.. Blink!! Muahahaha............

I learnt the open house dance from jie ru.. She's like such a great teacher compared to our thai cheena lian.. She knows who she is man.. Oh but funkeh? I still love you..

Oh and we ate kueh from a shop called "Ah Ma De Kueh". It's located somewhere at Alexandra Village.. Ha.. The kueh not bad la.. Eh joyce believe me la.. She's my ah ma..

Oh and my dad's fren gave us this damn big jackfruit from his tree.. It's damn big man.. It's like twice the size of my head.. So sweet of my dad's fren.. My mum just cut the fruit.. My entire house smell of jackfruit now..

And maia is out!! Omg.. I'm damn sad.. She's like so sexy, so naughty, so bitchy, so attitude.. Oh man.. I loved her.. Oh but i love olinda more.. If she's out.. I'll be really heartbroken..

And the more i tink abt it, the more i tink my promo results suck.. Never in my life haf i ever done so badly before.. Dammit.. i just hope monday turns out how i want it to turn out..

Good luck to me..

Oh btw.. to you.. I was over u a long time ago..

2004-10-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

I opened the email.. Expecting the expected.. The expected was there.. Just as expected..

It was expected.. Yet i got really pissed with it.. I've no idea why.. I mean.. It was expected.. So i should not have been shocked by the unexpected cuz it's not the unexpected as it is the expected. I didnt expect myself to get so angry over something so expected..

Ok my headache's getting worse.. I'm not gonna go on crapping about expecting..

So ya.. I realise i've been very pissed with lotsa stuff lately.. This is bad.. Thank god i haf great frens and of cuz blink! Omg.. I would have long lost my sanity if not for these people.. I hereby thank all of you out there.. Thx for keeping me sane..

2004-10-19T23:26:00.000+08:00

It's been a long day.. So many things happened..

Realised bush didnt do what he was supposed to do and i had to spend my entire lunch break doing what he was supposed to do. That frickin pissed me off. He did such a screwed up job. Ok.. He didnt screw it up. He didnt do anything.

Found out some stuff that underground shit has been doing behind my back.. I never knew he could be such a loser..

Machi somehow pissed me off too.

Oh and to add brighten up my wonderful day, some loser snapped the fucking string that was hanging for a week today. It was the very same string i had wanted to snip off weeks ago but did not. The only reason i did not rip that string into pieces was because i was fucking being nice and fair to him. A pity i wanted to play nice.. That damn string could have been shoven somewhere up that darn arse of his. Well fuck you asshole. Dont worry, you're not a jerk. You're just about the worst loser i've met in my entire life. And let me get this straight. I did not say that bcuz i had a bad day or cuz i'm feeling lousy about you snapping the string. I said that cuz those words were the sentiments of many others too. Remember the OD shit and you thought i was behind that? Well believe it sucker. I wasnt behind that damn thing. They did it out of their own free will.

Lose your mirror..

2004-10-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

In the past her eyes told her
The Sun rises from the west
And it sets from the east

Now her eyes tell her
The Sun rises from the east
And it sets from the west

And she realised..
The mirror she had been holding in front of her eyes
For oh so many years
Has fallen.

To everybody who's been feelin really lousy..
To everybody who did not get what they wanted..
To everybody who cried..

Lose your mirror.

I know it hurts. I know it sucks. I know you hate yourselves. I know the feeling of regret, the taste of disappointment, the sight of defeat sucks. But look at things carefully ok? Look at what's really in front of you. Throw away that mirror.. And you'll realise.. Things are not that bad after all. Have faith.. Have hope.. And everything will be ok.

I'm with you man..

Everything is going to be ok..

This is crazy..

2004-10-17T23:07:00.000+08:00

Gawd.. First time in my life someone said i'm cheena.. This is such a big mistake man.. How can i be cheena when i got lowest in class for chinese and i hate bands like 5566 and wad.. Energy?? Ohmigod..

I spent like over an hour arguing stupidly with joyce over who's more cheena.. Haha.. We even went to the extent of asking everyone online at tt time and who knew us both.. "Who's more cheena? Joyce or Phyllis?"

Sharon: Joyce
Jie Ru: Phyllis
Calista:Joyce
Sze Hui: Joyce

Ha.. Who's more cheena is so obvious la.. But dear joyce couldnt accept reality and so i had to give in.. I'm just such a sweeteh.. Haha.. And joyce accused me of ripping her off... Wth joyce.. U ripped off my "i'm pretty, i'm sexy, i'm everything u're not" ok..

But joyce.. u noe i still love u la.. Muahaha.. U're like such a funkeh hotteh.. How can i not love you.. =D

2004-10-17T19:05:00.000+08:00

U can see how bored i am.. This is like my third or forth time blogging today.. I didnt go tuition today.. Felt too lazy.. Besides.. It's after promos man.. I ended up watching Resident's Evil.. Quite ok la the story.. But i'll only give it 3 out of 5 popcorns.. The plot basically sux la i tink.. But the movie can somehow capture yr attention.. I've no idea why..

Oh ya.. Si Si went to tuition.. She said they went thru all the school's physics promo paper today.. All the schools as in ACJC, JJC, PJC and SAJC.. According to the teacher, SA's paper was the hardest.. Dammit man.. What's wrong with SA.. It's not like the students are very smart.. Oh but i must be smart.. Since i passed the damn paper.. Muahahaah.. I'm a smarteh panteh!!

2004-10-17T13:45:00.000+08:00

Muahaha.. I finally added music to this crappeh blog.. I cant believe i chose this music out of so many other songs i know..

2004-10-17T11:46:00.000+08:00

Dad's gone to China for a few days.. He left this morning and will be back on wed nite.. A pity mum's not going with him.. Or i'll be partying every nite and there'll be no one to stop me..

I'm so bored now... Life after promos is not so great after all.. I wake up everyday to realise i have nothing to do and no plans for the day.. And i'll just let the day pass by doing aimless nothings..

And i realise i get irritated by some people very easily these days.. I dun know what's wrong wif me.. I'm actually quite a forgiving person.. But lately.. I cant seem to forgive and forget anymore.. Oh to hell with these ppl..

I'm listening to F.I.R now.. I just bought the album yesterday.. Ok i'm slow. But hey.. I didnt haf time to buy the album during promos.. I'm like singing along with faye now.. Singing away my boredom.. Singing away my frustrations.. Singing away the blues..

And as i sing.. I realise all her songs are about love and rainbows and looking at the bright side of things.. She must be one happy girl.. How lucky..

I dun know what's wrong with faye.. She majored in Eng Lit in Uni but ended up in a chinese band.. Then wad the hell did she major in Eng Lit for?! Crazy girl.. But hell.. This just shows she's not cheena.. And she has talent anyway.. And she's quite pretty - All the qualities of a star..

Oh but wth.. I have qualities of a star too.. I'm sekseh and funkeh and a hotteh according to certain ppl.. Muahaha.. And i'm in a band too.. A damn cool band.. Ahahaha..

2004-10-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

Got back my chinese results today and i passed!! Omg.. So unbelievable.. I actually passed!! And i got 19/20 for compre!! I'm just so pro!! And so, with phy, gp and chinese, i'm gonna get promoted!!! Muahaha.. I'm so higggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahaha...

After sch was kinda slacking away in fitness.. It turned out i didnt hafta attend the meeting so i ended up playing floorball.. And after that we learnt the open house dance.. Come to think of it.. I've forgotten the moves..............................

Oh and Jerry is finally out! Oh thank heavens.. Finally singaporeans grew ears..

I just watched Exorcist with bro.. The plot is quite good but the movie itself kinda suck.. It's kinda draggy and irrtating cuz u could nv hear wad the ppl were saying and all u could hear were "scary" sounds.. But still, i feel the movie is worth yr time to watch.. I'm supposed to be on movie marathon tonight with bro.. But he's watching some war flick now and i just cant stand war flicks.. So here i am.... Maybe i'll watch resident's evil with him later.. Maybe...........

Ooooh!!! I saw blinkkkkkkkkkkkkkk twice today!!! Muahaha.......... I'm so high i'm so high i'm so highhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

2004-10-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

I just woke up from an hour's nap. My head feels like exploding now. And i'm suffering from a splitting headache now. And i feel like puking. And i'm supposed to be rushing thru pw now. And half my grp is missing. And i'm risking puking all over my comp now. And the person who's suppose to be the grp leader is missing. And the grp leader who is also suppose to do the compiling is missing. And 3rd draft of the written report is due tmr. And this is not the first time this is happening.

It happened when we had to meet the 2nd draft dateline too. The grp leader disappeared and in the end the grp had to sacrifice sleep (and i mean sacrifice sleep bcuz i didnt fucking get any sleep at all that night.) to meet the dateline. And now this is happening again. And i am so NOT going to sacrifice sleep again tonight.

What a screwed up day. Got back shitty results today too. Chem was expected cuz i didnt really study.. I only spent 2 days studying chem n half the time i was stoning. I studied damn hard for phy but i got shitty results.. So what if i improved and passed the damn paper.. The results were still shit. And gp.. Screw gp. I failed! This is the frickin first time i fail eng.. Wth.. And i'm like so fucking close to getting an AO pass.. Just one more frickin mark..

Tmr i'll probably get back chinese.. I bet i'm gonna fail that paper.. And there's still math c and fm.. I'm banking on c math to promote me so it better not screw up.. As for fm.. Whatever..

Screw today la. Today's totally fucked up. No wonder i feel like puking.. Dammit..

2004-10-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

Ended up in fitness today although i didnt go to sch in the morning. Baba didnt ask me abt my absence in the morning.. Kinda unexpected but i dun care..

Not many people turned up for fitness.. Expected but i dun care..

Ex-co meeting started early and ended late.. Unexpected and expected. But i dun care..

His reaction pissed me off.. Unexpected and i dun care..

Predictable

2004-10-13T11:36:00.000+08:00

Something isnt right
I can feel it again, feel it again
This isnt the first time that you left me waiting
Sad excuses and false hopes high
I saw this coming; still i dont know why i let you in

I knew it all along
It's so predictable
I knew something would go wrong(somethings always wrong)
So you dont have to call or say anything at all
Its so predictable(so predictable)

So take your empty words, your broken promises
And all the time you stole, cause i am done with this
I could give it away, give it away; Im doing everything i should've
And now im making a change, im living the day
Im giving back what you gave me
I dont need anything

I knew it all along
It's so predictable
I knew something would go wrong(somethings always wrong)
So you dont have to call or say anything at all
Its so predictable(so predictable)

Everywhere i go, everyone i meet; they're all gunna wanna know why im so fucked up
Why am i so cold?
Why im so hard inside
Why am i scared, what am i afraid of?
I dont even know!
This story's never had an end
I've been waiting, I've been searching, I've been hoping, I've been dreaming you would come back
But i know the ending of this story, and youre never coming back..never!

I knew it all along
It's so predictable
I knew something would go wrong(somethings always wrong)
So you dont have to call or say anything at all
Its so predictable(so predictable)

Everywhere i go for the rest of my life
Everyone i love, everyone i care about(so predictable)
They're all gunna wanna know whats wrong with me
And i know what it is, and im ending this right now.(so predictable)

- Good Charlotte-

Dammit..

2004-10-12T21:17:00.000+08:00

F R I C K I N tagboard's driving me nuts!! No matter what i do, the F R I C K I N textbox is still so small.. I already fixed so many problems.. The tagboard's the last prob but i've been trying for more than one hour already and i still cant get what i want..

I'm gonna F R I C K I N get a B.F. soon.. Yes. B.I.T.C.H F.I.T

"that's not just a bag, that's Prada!"

Look who's in da house! Hohoho..

2004-10-12T16:59:00.000+08:00

Decided to move here. My old journal had too many limitations as to what i can do..
Ok i know there're lotsa things not done.. I'm workin on it..